Fred Thompson
Fred Dalton Thompson is a majestic actor, lawyer, former Republican Senator from Tennessee, sometime-Presidential counselor, former Watergate attorney, former Assistant US Attorney, one-time campaign manager for his friend John McCain (in the 2000 Presidential election), stud, casual Presidential candidate, and all-around heckuva great American. His wife is hot. Law & Order As a prosecutor in his home state of Tennessee, Fred Thompson battled over 8,800 major criminals, including: * moonshiners * horse thieves * jackboots * gamblers * mail thieves * CB dirty talkers * malfactorers * pickpockets * smugglers * rum-runners * house breakers * kitten huffers * mollycoddlers * mopery * slackers * and teenagers Laziness All Republicans know the best government is one that governs least, and doing the minimum is at the core of Thompson's character. He never even wanted the job of president, but he'd take it so he can lounge around all day on Air Force One or at Camp David. His laziness has inspired him to come up with a fresh prospective on Iran, the Thompson Doctrine. This doctrine basically states that the nucular-armed terrorist state "might take care of itself." This, of course, is a true application of laissez-faire economic principles. He took his time to mosey into the 2008 Presidential, after "leaving the door open" just long enough to let a few continents merge and split. Even when he was not an official candidate he was consistently polling higher than most of the undifferentiated Republican candidate pack, and has since then pulled into the #2 spot ahead of John "backed-into-a-corner" McCain and Mitt "flip-flop" Romney. There hasn't been presidential hopeful this majestic since 1980 libertarian candidate Edward "The Rocky Mountains at Sunset" Clark. Remember, when you're choosing a president, don't just pick the guy you'd like to have a beer with, pick someone who would also drink that beer with majesty and gravitas! Acting Career Thompson's best known role is probably that of the District Attorney on the popular cop/court drama Law & Order. This job gets him an impressive five minutes, tops, of airtime for each hour-long episode. Just long enough for him to steal the show. He also played a racist on the CBS show Wiseguy in 1988. Therefore, Thompson has been seen, on tape, waving a copy of Mein Kampf and loudly making anti-Semitic comments, such as accusing the Jews of forcing workers out of their jobs, using the Jewish control of banks. He goes on to say, "We have been complacent, because we have been gullible, and we have been naive, we have allowed them to exercise their genetic need to dominate a Christian world. So don't blame the Jews for doing it. Blame it on yourselves for letting them." Thompson, however, has assured the public that he doesn't agree with any of the things his character said (which means Thompson does blame the Jews). He also said that the tape of him shouldn't be used against him, since that wasn't him saying those things; it was just a character he played on TV. Stephen Colbert knows how that feels. Fred-mentum * Thompson's Official Campaign Fund Acceptance site * Thompson's Official MySpace * WaPo profile of Fred Thompson See Also *Alpha Dog of the Week